In what will surely provide some great conversations during therapy for the next twenty years, a six-year-old boy is recovering after being bitten by a rabid bat while shopping at a discount shoe store with his mother.

Never mind how creepy those places are when you're a kid; the old man bending over reeking of sweat and failure, holding that weird metal thing, demanding you take off your socks, and later your underwear while the two of you are alone in that cold and dark back room MOMMY WHERE ARE YOU ?? Anyway, "rabid bat" isn't one of those common childhood fears you run across while shoe shopping (maybe it should be ?)

A whole bunch of needles in the stomach later, the boy is fine and wearing discount shoes from Payless. And if this whole episode isn't motivation for him to do his homework and grow "not poor" then I'll be goddamned if I know what is.