Faithful readers, you're all informed people of the world. You know what kind of shit goes down in our inner cities; the drugs, the booze, the rampant crime that makes you want to buy a shotgun and tell Grandma to KEEP TO HER SIDE OF THE BED, DAMNIT !! But the kids in Rowan County, North Carolina, have hit a new low...stealing goats and cows so they could sell them at auctions. Jesus, even the crime in North Carolina is dull (unless you go to Duke)

Cory Foster and Daniel Black, 19, were caught by police in the act of stealing cows and other livestock. One farmer reported eight goats stolen; seventeen were returned to him (ask your Mom if this confuses you)

Yeah, this story is really going to play in prison - "What you in here for, white boy ?" "Stealing pregnant goats. You ?"