One time, my girlfriend and I were sitting at the bar of a Mexican restaurant, and were mildly perturbed to find ourself next to a family with two young children.

"We were just at parent-teacher night, and Brian got very good comments..." the mother explained, "...so we told him he could go anywhere he wanted for dinner !"

"So you took him to a bar ? Cool !" I replied.

Brian piped up "I wanted to see football, because the 49ers are my favorite team !" I glanced over at Monday Night Football, playing on the television in the bar. "Are all your friends 49ers fans, too ?" I asked the 8-year-old.

"My best friend Jamie doesn't like the 49ers, because he's an Oakland Raiders fan."

I leaned closer. "Do me a favor, Brian. When Jamie turns fifteen and wants you to go for a ride in a car "he just found" -- don't go with him, okay ? Just trust me on this one."

At that point, Dad shot me a nasty look and the children weren't allowed to talk to me anymore, which was fine because they shouldn't have been in the goddamn bar in the first place. But at least they weren't rewarding the kids with marijuana.