Thomas Everett, a teacher at Sheepshead Bay High School in Brooklyn, NY, requested 60 to 90 days of unpaid leave from his job, citing that he had "problems with the State of New Jersey Judicial System" and "must fulfill an obligation to the State."

(hint - the State of New Jersey wasn't asking him to bake cupcakes for their annual "Kiss Her Where It Smells; Take Her To New Jersey" festival)

Someone at the school thought this was "odd" and picked up the phone, discovering that Everett had recently been convicted of stealing more than a million dollars from elderly women. Such a crime carries a three year prison sentence, but Everett assumed that our pansy-ass legal system would bump it down to 60 days (and he assumed correctly)

"We get some strange ones, but this one is a little different," said an investigator for the school system. Everett's request for time off was denied, and he was fired.